The bigger Navy

Satire: Navy gets around personnel shortage by making each Sailor 30% larger

https://www.duffelblog.com/2018/01/navy-gets-around-troop-shortages-by-making-each-sailor-30-larger/?utm_source=Daily+newsletter+subscribers&utm_campaign=160b9fdfbf-Duffel_Blog_Daily&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_6d392bc034-160b9fdfbf-23799693&goal=0_6d392bc034-160b9fdfbf-23799693&mc_cid=160b9fdfbf&mc_eid=5338b90a1a

Excerpt: The U.S. Navy announced it would forgive past fitness test failures and halt fitness discharges in an attempt to keep the overall size of the Navy the same despite recent manning cuts, sources confirmed today. “Ships are measured in tonnage, and now, shipmates will be, too,” said Rear Adm. Joseph Simms, commander of Navy Personnel Command. “Those pencil pushers can take away the number of Sailors we have, but not the amount of Sailors we have.”